Friday, August 17, 2012

DO IT NOW

This is my very first blog post - on 'Cyndie Uncorked'. You may deduce from the name of the site, that it should be full of content about which I have been waiting to write for a long time. That will, indeed, happen. Sometime down the road.

For today, my first attempt at blogging will be much more reflective, with a bit of sadness.

On Sunday, the love of my life, Rob, died very suddenly. To my knowledge, there was nothing 'wrong' with him physically that may have alerted us to anything problematic. He just said he was feeling a bit weak and tired. 2 minutes later he was consumed by what appeared to me to be a seizure. Apparently, this is what a heart attack looks like. I don't believe he suffered any pain.

It has been almost five days and I'm finding it really confusing to follow my emotions. They range from deep sorrow, to anger, to loving memories of our time together, back to anger and all points in between. Following my emotions is totally exhausting.

My message to any of you who are reading this, is "Don't wait". Don't put off that trip, or redecorating, or updating your eventual wishes, or recognizing the importance of the connection you have to your partner, and connections with your family and friends. Do it all now, before it's too late.

Maybe it's helpful for those of us Rob left behind that it is summer time and our kids are still around to help us through this. My own daughters will be back at university soon, and they will need to be fully present for and committed to that. I'm hopeful that before then, I will find my own lifeline, so that they will feel okay about not being here for me all the time. They need to get on with school and their lives.

I do know that I have a ton of support from my Personal Learning Network - all of you, and for that I am overwhelmed and eternally grateful.

As a last word, for those who say "I'll do it later", please don't wait until then. DO IT NOW!

9 comments:

  1. Hi Cyndie,

    Wow - thank you for sharing. I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but I'm sending you a huge hug from Ottawa. I love your message here too - don't wait for tomorrow. Take care and I look forward to following you here.

    Shannon

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  2. Thank you for your honesty and openness, Cyndie. You offer great advice for all. I hope that, at this time, you listen to your own advice. It's sad that this is the first topic for your blog. I know that you have other plans for it. Take care of yourself.

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  3. Hi Cyndie,
    A virtual hug is sent your way today. I hope you can feel the strength I'm sending to you. You tweet and live each day to the fullest. Thanks for the reminder for all of us to do the same.
    With sadness,
    Angie Harrison
    @techieang

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  4. Oh Cyndie! I'm so sorry to read this. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family during this incredibly difficult time. I'm sending a huge virtual hug your way!

    Aviva

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  5. Hi Cyndie,
    Thank you for sharing and this most important reminder to not wait and do it now. Virtual hugs to you and your family. I am inspired by your courage and strength to reach out to us during your time of significant loss.
    Lisa
    @lisaneale

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  6. Ah Cyndie,
    Yes. DO IT NOW.
    Your strength - even though you may not perceive it so well right now - is -- and, always has been, a gift to me -- and i'm sure to all who know you. It takes courage to write what you have written.
    Looking forward to Cyndie Uncorked. Funny though, you always seemed pretty much uncorked to me.
    With much love,
    Peter

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  7. To you, the best hugger in my PLN <- by far, (even better than Peter) my condolences. We'll be thinking of you during this difficult time and as we do it now.
    Take care.
    Kent

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  8. Hey Cyndie,

    Me deepest condolences. I hope you know we're here for you if you need ANYTHING.

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  9. Cyndie, thinking of you today. I can't imagine how hard this must all be and I hope that you feel loved today, having all your family and closest friends surround you. I know you live by the message you wrote, so clearly above. I feel a special bond that we "retired" the same summer, so that we could follow our dreams. Live a different life. This isn't what was supposed to happen. Damn I'm sorry. Looking forward to connecting in person in a few weeks. I'll like to take you for lunch and perhaps in long walk along your lake. Sending hugs,
    Gay

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